Bevismiles's Blog

why not?!?

what do I know? October 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — BeviBlue @ 4:59 am

Ever just wanted to tell people “I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” just because I don’t always HAVE to be right does not mean I’m always wrong.

Well, I am playing over and over again this song “What Do I Know of Holy” and I feel smaller and smaller as I see God as bigger each time I listen to it.

now let’s take it back, consider that opener like the beginning on one of those movies where you see the dead body at the opener, then we go back to where this happy couple fell in love in highschool.

Yesterday, Saturday, our Women’s Ministry, hosted our annual luncheon, with a twist.  Our guest of honorssss were the women in Mobile, without homes, that are part of different organizations.  As I was in the huge gym trying to decorate it Thursday, this song came on the shuffled playlist of the laptop plugged in and I was overwhelmed.  The lyrics are as follows:

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were might to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it’s name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

And here I am thinking so pridefully about the person I think I am and just broken as the words “What do I know” kept playing over and over in my head.  Got a little nervous, because I knew the Lord was ready to do some breaking.  And low and behold, come hectic Saturday, I couldn’t even tell you how I ended up in this chair at a table being hosted be another lady in the church and had the most amazing conversation with this woman, Pam.  She was the picture definition of ON FIRE.  As we talked and I saw her I was in awe at how she looked.  Hair was cute and funky, makeup was perfect and he clothes were cute and trendy.  Quickly I realized she was with one of the agencies that was drug rehabilitation services.  She was in there for the 3rd time but hearing her heart as she proclaimed, “this time is different, I have Jesus with me” I couldn’t wait to hear more from her.  As she talked about her struggles I couldn’t help but think to myself “I don’t know jack about this kind of life she has lived”…I mean, I think having moved out on my own and then coming back to live not only at home but with my Grandmother, (whom I love dearly, just follow me here) makes me look less strong and independent.  This woman has been through what I would consider the most horrible conditions to live in at this point in life.

But then as our conversation ended and we were in agreement on how great our God is and she jumped up to hug me, yet again, I’m left in awe and so encouraged by the fact that, Jesus who saved me from my sins is the same Jesus she has found and can’t help but exclaim her love for.  I’m so glad the foot of the cross is level, meaning He died for every one of us.  Yet again, I’m thinking, I knew this already, but then I get to catch another glimpse of who He is!

Take that with you and all I can recommend is to ask the question “What do I know?”

 

believe it or not… October 10, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — BeviBlue @ 6:08 am

 

Well…it’s ONLY been six months since I last blogged.  Life is good, God is great, and my how things have changed in just a short amount of time!

Just a few that I can muster up the attention span to jot them down:

  • Random injuries that had optimal timing= fell (out of the shower..don’t laugh) and knocked the back of my head on marble countertop the morning of a HUGE event, which hours after it was over landed me in the ER…rang in Mother’s Day with my mother asleep on the counter.  God’s providence shown here=have not had health insurance for almost 2 years, my new policy went into affect on Thursday, this happened the Saturday 😉
  • “Directed” my first VBS a.k.a. had to be the one in charge…eek!  3 words…Children accepted Christ!

  • went on my first ever International Mission Trip.  Heaven came down and glory filled my soul!  Visit the facebook page and look at album from Guatemala.  the pictures tell it all!  Let me just say I serve the God of all and He leaves me in awe of just how Mighty He is.

    This picture is my favorite out of the 500+ that I took because this child is totally mesmerized has he listens to the translator interpret as our pastor talks about the love of Jesus!

  • TWO children’s camps in ONE week!  sometimes I wonder if somebody sneaks some crack rock in my vents at night when I do these things…JUST KIDDING JUST KIDDING! I love EVERY minute of it and wouldn’t trade it for the world.  Do you know that 4th grade boys will go 4 days without bathing or brushing their teeth and don’t understand why you’re gagging when they share this information with you while sitting at the dinner table!  hey, whatever it takes for them to hear about Jesus!

    A blur!

  • Oh yeah…back up…4th of July, thought I’d be funny and decorate a friend’s yard (who like myself is a lover of patriotic decor) and while laying in their yard while another friend made an outline of my body with the little American flags, I was bitten by something that according to the urgent care doctor I had to visit the following day left the back my leg looking like a red cantaloupe.  he said “don’t worry, this was definitely something with infection is it.  Probably a spider”  Really, doc, what was your first clue?

    Oh yeah, it's sick, I know!

  • end of July came the new CDC director meaning my life became half as stressful as it had been the 8 months prior meaning I could focus on more of the Children’s Ministry and the direction the Lord was leading us. Which BTW she’s a rock star and has kicked butt (with a ballet slipper) and taken names (in calligraphy)!
  • Little sister moved to Auburn to start pharmacy school so she could be a glorified drug dealer (maybe she’s the one I should suspect on that crack in my vents) and big sister inc. moved in next door at the parental’s house…life is NEVER DULL and I L-O-V-E it that way!
  • School’s back in session, lots of new energy and changes in our whole facility between the church, school, and daycare and it’s definitely been orchestrated by God and Him alone.  It’s beautiful!  Our “family” has been through a lot of changes over the past year, but it’s amazing to work with a team of people that admit all the answers are not right here right now, but we are eager to go and do whatever it is the Lord is calling us to in order to be the church He has for us to be.  It’s so amazing to work on a staff that is “in it to win it” with “It” being seeing the lost come to Jesus as Lord and Savior!  AHHH it excites me just to type about it!

I think that’s going to sum it up…finally, you say!  I do have news though…no i’m not un-single or will I be in the near future, hope you’re okay with that, because I sure am…but I do need to say that I’ve become OB-SESSED with BLOG STALKING! Oh my sleep pattern has changed, my browsers automatically go there and I’m seriously blessed by it.  I love to see people use their creativity to a)make them happy. b)make others happy. c) support their family. d)share something good with the world

AND i love a good craft…so…i figure why not be proactive and be a serious blogger.  Yes, if you looked at earliest post on here, you will see i’ve said that over and over and over yada yada yada, but i’m for real!  Now, if you are the person (if that many) that reads all of these ramblings you will get to see what I would say is the equivalent to a number of things such as scrapbooking pictures of children I don’t yet have, or you know what ever it is people with husbands and kids would do.  I LOVE making things!  I mean, I used my joking birthday $ to buy a sewing machine!  I spend my days off at the thrift stores trying to decide what all can become a beautiful new something with a few presses of the trigger on my trusty spray paint!

Maybe one day, I’ll sell these gems, but for now, I just love making whatever it is i can create and sharing it with those I love and hopefully they know it!

(FYI and just because the tv is on right now which is rare and TLC just showed a commercial for that repulsive show “Sister Wives” there will probably be a blog in the future of me expressing just how sick it makes me!)

So, here we are for a fun ride.  Rock on!

 

a week worth talking about! April 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — BeviBlue @ 6:42 pm

Where to start, where to start!!!!

This past week makes me think of the verse “Jesus did many other things as well, If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.”

I’ve really noticed myself “making mountains out of mole hills” a lot lately and I know I’m pretty dramatic and animated about some stuff, but I don’t handle a temper well, it actually gets on my nerves in other people.

But the Lord started off my week by blinding me with His glory!  My sister was scheduled to be induced Monday and we have been anxiously awaiting little “Drew Baby.”  The party was getting going and at 12:18 Monday afternoon he came into the world in a pretty scary way.  The cord was wrapped around his neck and after all was well, my mom gave more details about how it took almost 3 minutes for him to be breathing and the fluid out of his lungs.  While they say this is very common it was terrifying for our family.  Not that that part alone did not show God’s magnificence, He used that moment of that child’s birth in a way I never imagined.  Now follow me here…

Good friends at church, we’ll say Jack and Jill,  are some of the most amazing examples of Christ I’ve ever seen.  Jack was raised Jewish and since it is the Passover time, they were at a family gathering celebrating the Jewish customs.   A friend of the family, who is a Christian, was there and began talking about the Jewish religion.  In conversation Jack’s father made some comments and confessed that he didn’t even know if he believed in God.  The conversation then moved to the topic of miracles.  Jill says that she doesn’t even talk anymore when the debates start getting heated because she knows she gets angry and is not a good example of Christ with her defensive attitude.  At this point I had sent her a picture of little precious Drew and I then text her about what happened during delivery.  How perfect is God’s timing!?!?!?  At that point she felt she had to share it with the fam and the father who had just said he didn’t know if God even existed actually agreed that Drew being okay and surviving was in fact a miracle and was “pretty cool.”  Now that may not seem big, but if that little boy’s battle to take his first breath caused this unbeliever to acknowledge God’s mighty hand, it is all worth it!  Continue to pray that this man will get more and more glimpses of God’s power and LOVE!!!

Next knock me on my butt story!  Last night was Wednesday and we all know what that means in the life of a Children’s Minister…wonderful blessed chaos!  Well the children were off the CHAIN last night and acting CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!  I tried to do something different to talk about the crucifixion and what Easter is all about.  The daycare side had been crazy so I had not gotten to prepare like I needed to (this is where you can say a quick prayer for a swift hiring of a daycare director) So along with feeling unprepared, I couldn’t get two words out before I would have to fuss at one of the kids for talking, pinching, poking, farting, etc.,  So when the service was over, needless to say my nerves were shot and I was spent!  I even stooped so low as to say to one of the volunteers “I’ve never been so discouraged after a service in my life!”  Here’s where it gets good.  As I closed my trap from saying that, Button=best college student children’s ministry volunteer ever, came back up from taking a 4th grade girl that visited back  to her grandfather.  She proceeds to make this statement “You won’t believe what just happened!  I took her down there she walked right past her grandfather and said ‘I have to talk to Dr. Brown (pastor).  She walked up to him and told him she needed to be baptized.  She walked HIM, THE PREACHER, through the plan of salvation and why we baptize and when he asked her if she had prayed to ask Jesus into her heart, she told him she had just done it up there in the service!”  Needless to say I was speechless and crying like a baby at this point.

Who am I to think that the Lord needs my approval of a service to speak to the heart of a child?  Who am I to think that God isn’t big enough to touch the heart of a bitter old man?  Who am I to think if I’m not having a good day God still can’t move?  If God can change the heart of this sinner why would I ever doubt Him changing the heart of another!?!  So, all to say, Let me step aside or God just pick me up and move me out of your way!

 

drop it like it’s hot… March 3, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — BeviBlue @ 3:38 am

sooooooo…

back at it.  it has clicked! you know they say you can talk about losing weight but until it clicks and you make up your mind, you aren’t going to do it.  well, this week has gone well so far.  i asked an opinion of a pal of mine who is a personal trainer and was TOLD 😉 i would now count calories on a spreadsheet in a 3 ring binder.  WHAT THE HECK?  my reply was “i don’t even like keeping up with the points on my little pocket size weight watchers thing”  his sweet reply was “do it.”  so i’m kind of scared of him and glad he’s in another state or it might make me cry.

but good old flannelmondays.com is a trooper and if you haven’t been following you should know that she is rapidly disappearing.  i think she’s lost 25 pounds in about 6 weeks!  HOW IMPRESSIVE SHE IS!!!  And while we started this blogging journey at the same time, she has stuck with it and has been counting her calories like a champ not a chump.  So she is my counselor and pal.  That flannel friend also is motivating me to do this for another reason.  She got a new camera and is ALWAYS taking pictures WHICH I LOVE LOVE LOVE, but I always feel like i’m at a photoshoot (not that i would know what that would feel like but a girl can dream, ay?)  All that to say i’ve been very disturbed by these pictures.  the rolls on my stomach and the flab under my neck are repulsive…UGH!!!

I don’t know if you really want to know everything i’ve eaten, so i’ll just let you know my approach.  Or really, I was advised to count calories on a weekly amount.  All these trusty websites advised I needed 1800ish calories a day, but I think that’s too much, so I’m shooting for 1200-1400 daily.  I’m thinking 9500 weekly is pretty much what I’ll shoot for right now.  If that’s not working, I’ll DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT!

Here’s my problem…i THINK i have to have things.  Like when I go to a sub shop, I think I have to have the chips even if i do get baked and at night i think i HAVE to have something sweet before I can go to sleep.  So i’ve got to find someway to work around these holdups.

I just know this, I can’t do what I want to do now b/c I’ve always made choices in the past.  And while it may seem like “omg, it’s just food”  it’s got me in a place that I’m not proud of.  I think I’ve hit behind this lard long enough.  I also think I want to be mad at it.  If i get mad at something I’ll do whatever I can to get rid of it.  I’m mad at this funk hanging on me and I want to make it suffer.  He he he!!!  Really though, it’s been around long enough…IT HAS GOT TO GO!!!  I need my energy and confidence.  I’ve NEVER known what it’s like to be an average size and while it would have been nice to be smaller in high school and college, i WASN’T, oh well, it’s not too late to get there now, I mean I’m only 26!!!

GAME ON!

And btw, I love how the Lord takes things to stop me where I am.  Today He got me good.  I’m aggravated with people and trying to get all those children’s pictures taken with the Easter Bunnys (real ones!) and one of the lady’s in my office, her granddaughter is in school there in k5.  Her son is coming home next week for good from serving in the military.  He’s been in Iraq, but most recently he’s been stationed in South Carolina.  Well, little precious was getting her picture and the photographer was asking her questions and catching little smiles and the joy of being around these families and knowing them I thought to ask “hey tell him who is coming home next week” and she said “MY DADDY!!!!” and he snapped the camera right then and it was the most beautiful smile.  and i’m crying all over again.  I cry a lot about stupid things, but I love when the Lord is so good and shows His love to people in amazing ways!

Ok, party on and HAPPY CALORIE COUNTING…wish me luck…no forget luck, pray for me!

 

about a girl… February 21, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — BeviBlue @ 4:12 am

what if i said, I will never be a teacher or work with kids!  and now i can’t imagine not doing it!

these past 2 nights, i’ve taken some of the kids to an event at a local church with the “VBS Guy” leading worship and speaking.  He is one confident man, but I definitely applaud him for his passion to see children worship!

there’s always so much you can say about going to an event like this, but I just had to stop, thank the Lord for putting me where He has and just ask Him to teach me how to be what these kids need me to be.  That’s it, and that’s all we can do when in doubt then let Him grow us and strengthen us along the way!

THE End and goodnight!

I did learn a new amazing version of HUMPTY DUMPTY!!!

 

In it but not of it February 17, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — BeviBlue @ 6:15 am

So, sometimes…it’s a fine line to determine what it means to be IN the world but not OF the world.  What does it mean?  Is it black and white, is it a group effort, is it simply one’s personal conviction?

Here is what I do know.  As I sat in the middle of Mardi Gras in Mobile, where it originated, I constantly was asking myself is what I’m doing in or of?  I wish I had a clear answer.  I think I’ve mentioned it before, but one of my most favorite verses is Psalm 139:23-24 where it talks about SEARCHING MY HEART AND KNOWING MY MOTIVES!!! (seriously paraphrasing here).  Why do we do all the things that we do.  Is my motive to go out and toot my “I’m being Jesus” horn or is to take advantage of an opportunity where thousands of people are gathered and view it as a open and beautiful opportunity to share Jesus with the people of our city.  Fortunately that verse says “Search ME oh God.”  It’s a personal…nobody else knows what the Lord has shown me once I’ve asked Him to, but shouldn’t our fruits always make it evident where our heart is?

In my short time in seminary (one day i’ll finish!) I read a book named “Street Signs” and it changed my heart forever.  We are supposed to be active parts of our community and not SCARED of it!  Seeing areas that we know are not glorifying our Lord does not mean we obsess over it being wrong and run away from…we get in and get dirty along side of it, but the difference in Christians is supposed to be we are to be used to change “it” for the better.  Be the light of the world.  How can a light be useful if it never is exposed to darkness?

A mentor and amazing friend of mine once told me “at all times, we are either attracting or distracting people from the cross.”  And heaven help me if I’m distracting anyone from the glory of the cross.  (listen to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLSwigbVW6g)

I do know this, when Jesus was in the world and whatever area it was, He was there to love and not to judge.  Lord forgive me for my heart of judgement.

 

start blogging blogger… February 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — BeviBlue @ 2:28 am

Hello Blog.  Please don’t be mad at me for having commitment issues and being an emotional eater. Those two things combined are not allowing me to fulfill the purpose of this blog sight…oh well, i’ll write about something else!

This past week has been so entertaining.  It’s like “how could all these crazy things happen to one person?”  Maybe it’s because I’m working some extra crazy times and the Lord knows me SO WELL and knows that I love to laugh and need random things to happen to get me there.

Anyway…The Lord is really teaching me about being positive.  It’s so easy to just state the obvious which is usually a negative characteristics, but I’ve been working with the school kids about kindness and only being positive to each other.  What a challenge that is!!!  I’ve gone back to my buddy old pal Zach Normandin’s method of “for every negative thing, say 3 positives.”  That is a lot of work but so affective!

So, for those of you that know me or have had any meal with me, you know I don’t do chicken on the bone!  You would think I would have grown out of it, but the older I get the worse it gets.  And typing this story makes me want to gag, but I must share with my friends.  So Wednesday night we had our “I Love My Parents” banquet.

Mrs. Ida had gotten everything ready for me and taken it out of the kitchen, but I had to go back in the walk in fridge to get something and the door closed behind, which is already a problem for me, I forget there are people out there that saw me go in and they will let me out if it got stuck.  So anyway, picture this…i’m in the fridge, door closes, a small panic begins then I look around in the fridge and see them…THE CORNISH HENS…RAW!!!  They were lining the shelves, there were hundreds of them for the other dinner happening that night!  I experienced my first panic attack!  Of course I couldn’t get out and I started banging on the door and it finally opened and I ran out.  It was HORRIBLE!  If hell was made different for each individual, mine would consist of raw cornish hens, steak, and ribs.  They are of the devil.  I don’t judge you for eating them, so please don’t judge me for hating them.

Okay, then Friday…it snowed! How the heck does it snow in Mobile?  Yet again, the Lord bringing some good entertainment to my life.

So the funniest thing from Friday was when one of the 3rd graders came in early that morning, any time he walks in, I know I’m going to hear something good.  Well, school had been cancelled, but the daycare was still open and he said “Miss Bevin, I bet you’re TICKED you didn’t get to close today and you have to put up with us!”  They really say some fun things.

All this to say, God is good.  I know it seems so simple and doesn’t have some thought provoking message, but praise God that His love finds us and meets exactly where we need it at whatever season we are in our lives.  Right now, I am surrounded by CHAOS, and while I love every minute of it, I also need to see God’s love and grace in chaos and calm.

With all that said…let’s see who read all this…how is God showing His love to you right now?  I am open to reading a lot b/c if you’re like me, He’s showing it to me in a TON of ways!  If He’s not, open your eyes, He IS!